Mostly Right Words
I’ve been the recipient of a bunch of wrong words a the totally wrong time. However, I’ve also been blessed to get a few right words at the right time. That’s why this book resonated with me on almost every level.
The Right Words at the Right Time, Volume 2: Your Turn! by Marlo Thomas and (new) Friends was sent to me for review by Mother Talk. I was initially scared of it’s thick size! (401 pages!!) I’m a mother of a toddler in my last motnth of a very complicated pregnancy. How was going to start and finish this thing in time for review?! Panic set in.
Then I picked up the book.
Man, it was super easy to knock out one or two of the thirteen parts in a sitting. The stories in each part were short, to the point and mostly emotionally uplifting. I say mostly because, on occasion, they jumped into heavier emotional territories than you want to be jumping into when you’ve got third trimester insomnia and you’re trying not to think of worst-case-scenario type outcomes for your overly complicated pregnancy. (Pregnancy and early infant loss are mentioned a few times throughout these stories. I give this as a warning to expectant mothers and mothers of loss.)
And so, rather quickly, the book was finished. I enjoyed it. I related to the authors of these stories because they were everyday citizens, like you and like me, as opposed to the celebrities featured in the first book. I felt like I had more in common with these people even if it was just the fact that the paparazzi doesn’t care about my every last move.
A few of my favorites? The story “Through My Daughter’s Eyes” on page 114 really made me smile. A mother who was just having an all around blah-kind-of-day was uplifted by her daughter’s kind and sincere words. I know what it’s like to have those moments and be uplifted by your very young child. BigBrother does it for me on a daily basis. (Or, really, sometimes daily! He’s not perfect and neither am I!) A few pages later on 141, I liked the reminder that “stuff” in our lives can either make us “bitter or better.” It’s something that I had to keep in mind, especially when I got to the story on page 208. I COULD be bitter that adoption is referred to as a “win-win situation.” I mean, it is totally dismissive of the birth parent experience: how it is a lifetime sentence of grief and loss. That hardly seems like a win on the part of the birth parent, does it? Instead, I’ll just use this moment in my review to say that adoption is not always a win-win situation and it should not always be viewed as such. Real mothers and real fathers do live with the lifelong trauma of relinquishment. Coercion and corruption do exist in today’s system. It should not be dismissed as a “win.” Before judging it as such, ask all parties involved, including the birth family and adoptee, if they view it as such. And now I feel better for having educated possible readers about a mistake in the book. So there.
Minus that story working my nerve and the stories about pregnancy and infant loss which made me nervous, the book was very encouraging. An easy read and an interesting one at that, it prompted me to think about the words I choose in certain situations. I try to think before I speak. Sometimes I succeed. Sometimes I don’t. I’d like to succeed more often. Maybe someday someone will write a story about me for a book like this. Or, ya know, at least feel good about something in themselves for a few moments. Yeah, that sounds better.
(Have you been given the “right words” at the “right time.” Hit up the website and share your story!)
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