I love the books that Mother Talk introduces me to by asking me to write a review. The Weight of Silence by Heather Gudenkauf is no exception. The back starts out with this engaging explanation:

It happens quietly one August morning. As dawn’s shimmering light drenches the humid Iowa air, two families awaken to find their little girls have gone missing in the night.

Every parent’s worst nightmare.

I’ll be honest: it wasn’t an easy, light read. I took it on vacation with me, hoping to read it while relaxing on the beach or even on the deck in the evenings after the boys went to sleep. It’s not a beach-type read. As the story revolves around the disappearance of two little girls, it deals with some topics that don’t make you feel warm and fuzzy inside. Of course, books that fall somewhere in the suspense genre aren’t really looking to create a warm and fuzzy feeling.

But that doesn’t mean it isn’t a good book.

I really got into the book on our twelve and a half hour return trip (which was supposed to be a ten hour trip, mind you). In fact, I got so into the book that I was reading the book with the flashlight app that I installed on my iPhone right before we left for our vacation. Do you know how difficult it is to read a phone by iPhone flashlight in a moving vehicle? That’s how good this book is to read.

I will warn you that in addition to the anxiety that accompanies any story about a missing child, let alone two, there are some other issues that may be hard for readers. There are traces of domestic (wife) abuse, child abuse, sexual assault and the loss of a baby. (See? Not particularly beachy.) However, they weren’t used in a way that made me felt that the author was trying to use all the tricks in the book to make her readers uncomfortable. In order for this story to be as effective and engaging as it was, these things needed to take place. Even in the case of the disappearance and eventual location of the girls in question, there are no graphic descriptions of the injuries or what took place for them to occur. Had those been in the book, I might not have been such a fan.

The book itself leads you to doubt yourself. For awhile, you think you know the story. And then you question yourself. Are you right? Did you properly pick the perpetrator? Do you know what caused the one girl to become a selective mute? Will she talk? Won’t she? All of those questions, and more, are why I kept turning the pages in the dark of our vehicle, desperate to find out the answers.

Did I like this book? Yes. Is it one I will keep in my library? Yes. Do I think most of my readers would enjoy this particular novel? Yes. I do believe that some readers who have dealt with the issues I mentioned above might struggle with various parts of the book. However, I do believe that the author dealt with such heavy issues in a respectful, non-graphic way and I offer her a pat on the back for attempting such issues. In the end, I loved the book, the writing and the way the book came together at the end. This is one book where I was pleased with the resolution.

The Weight of Silence is available on Amazon for $10.94. It is also available for purchase via Kindle for $9.99.

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[I received a complimentary copy of this book and a gift card from Mother Talk in exchange for my balanced review.]

When Mother Talk asked me to review The Lace Makers of Glenmara by Heather Barbieri, I didn’t quite know what to expect. As I started reading it, I knew I was in for a treat but I still didn’t know what kind of treat or or exactly how that treat would be delivered. In the end, I learned about Ireland, the Gaelic traditions, lace making, good writing and, shockingly, information about my own family that I did not previously know.

The book is wonderfully written. I will admit that it started off a little slow for my liking but the pace of the book is appropriate for the subject at hand. Kate, our main character, an American who has taken off to Ireland to find herself after her mother’s death and a bad breakup, needs that slower pace in order to heal. Of course, at one point, things do pick up rather quickly with an attractive Irishman. Throughout the book there are moments of quick-paced action and tongue lashing (the Irish tongue-lashings) along with moments that allow you to appreciate the Irish landscape, the process of lace-making and the wonderful, descriptive writing.

In Ireland, after a random turn of events, Kate finds herself in the very small town of Glenmara. She makes friends with a group of women who have a lace making society. Kate eventually has an idea as to how these women can turn their hobby into a profitable business but some people both in the group and in town don’t really embrace change. I was intrigued with each chapter to see how people would accept (or not) the changes to their town as things continued to move forward. I will admit that my favorite character was Bernie, a woman who had lost the love of her life. She was able to tell it like it was without being a mean and nasty type of character. I need a little bit of Bernie in my own character, I think.

I loved the story and how it evolved through all of the changes that came to the town. I loved the pace by the time I finished the book, feeling that it was a welcome slow down to my otherwise fast-paced life. I really can’t even begin to describe how much I loved the writing other than I have a renewed interest in Ireland and Gaelic traditions. The writing was so, well, well-written that I want to read more about Ireland! But only if it is that beautifully described that I almost feel as if I am standing on the cliffs as well. I know that those to whom I will pass this book on will love the escape across the pond to a world that seems much simpler than the lives we’re currently attempting to live. (But, I will demand the book to be returned as this is one that I am keeping.)

So, how did this book introduce me to something in my own family that I didn’t know about? In the process of reading this book, I went back to Pennsylvania to visit with my family. It was sitting on the kitchen table as my mom, paternal grandmother and I talked one evening. My grandma looked at it and asked as to what the book was about and I told her. She then let me know that my great-grandmother, her mother, used to make similar lace. Polish, not Irish, but lace all the same. She then went on to tell me that she still has doilies and a full tablecloth that took great-grandma forever to finish during the Depression due to lack of materials. She’s going to find said things for me in the Hope Chest. Without this book, I don’t think I would have learned such information. Little bonus feature for me!

And, so, do I recommend this book? Yes. Did it make me cry? A few minor times. (Word of warning: there is the mention of a miscarriage/stillbirth that I wasn’t expecting. Thought I should pass that on to others who find the subject to be triggering.) But, as I finished the last page of the book, I felt happy. I like books that make me feel happy. The book comes out on June 23, 2009 and you can pre-order it now on Amazon. I strongly suggest that you do!

When I started reading 10-10-10: A Life-Transforming Idea by Suzy Welch, I was excited. You see, I hate making decisions. In fact, I’ll be honest, even as I sit here writing this review, I’m not great at practicing what the book preaches. Why? I just had to take my mom shopping with me to force a decision on what curtains I should hang in our living room. We bought our house three and a half years ago. I thought that since we just got new windows, we should have curtains. Right? But I couldn’t do it.

That’s what Welch’s book is about.

Okay, not curtains. But decisions, big and small, that we all must make in our lives. I’m somewhat indecisive. When I say somewhat I mean majorly. Big decisions scare me. My brain refuses to function. It’s a mess, really. Welch’s book covers an idea that is helpful for people like me. Or, will be, when I start being able to employ it.

The title, 10-10-10, refers to the idea. Basically, it asks: how will this decision affect me in 10 minutes, 10 months, 10 years. The 10’s aren’t exact measurements of time meaning that you are to ask yourself how the decision will affect your life and the lives of those around you immediately, in the near future and in the distant future. Really, it’s a great idea.

The book goes on to explain the reasons why this works and backs it up with interesting stories of people who have put the 10-10-10 idea to work in their lives. I found it to be an interesting, quick read. Quick not because it was light on the good advice but quick because I wanted to know more.

Despite still not being able to make decorating decisions in my decorating life, I have found that it has helped me make some decisions as to what is and is not “absolutely necessary” when it comes to the schedules that we keep. Since reading the book, I’ve quit two things that weren’t necessary. I am thankful to Suzy Welch for writing this book. Our schedule is a bit freer… even if I have to rely on my mom for decorating advice/decisions.

Pick up 10-10-10 today. That’s one decision you shouldn’t need to dwell on too long. Trust me!

[Thanks to Mother Talk for including us on this (self-benefiting) book tour!]

I’ve been feeling some guilt lately. Last fall, I auditioned for and made our local chorale. While practices for the Christmas show took up time, they were nothing compared to the time I’ve had to spend preparing for the spring show. Just under a month away, I’m preparing to spend the week leading up to the show basically living at the theater. I felt pretty bad.

Until I read Mojo Mom: Nurturing Your Self While Raising a Family by Amy Tiemann, PH.D.

In fact, this book is probably up there on my favorite parenting books even though it’s less about parenting and more about me, both as a mother and as a woman. The book even inspired me to break out a new journal and write through the activities posed at the end of each chapter. It’s been awhile since a book has inspired me in such a way. It’s likely because it helped me work through issues that I was dealing with at that very moment but I think just about anyone, not just a mom who sings, can find something positive and life-affirming within the pages of this book.

In short, Mojo Mom reminds mothers that they are more than diapers, burp rags and piles of laundry. Working moms, work at home moms and stay at home moms all have challenges in remembering that fact. It’s hard work, trying to find the balance between motherhood and self-awareness but this book reminded me that being myself and allowing myself that space makes me a better mother to my children. This quote, from the prologue, really spoke to that:

All women need to continue to grow as individuals, not just as Moms.

How many books have I read about being a better mom? How many books have I reviewed about parenting the best way? Being told that I need to grow as a woman as well was something that I needed to hear. I know I’ve been doing the right thing for me by pursuing my goals but sometimes it’s hard to remember that when I miss bedtime or they do something cute while I’m not at home. I needed this book, now.

I read Chapter Two which is for mothers in the early months of motherhood mainly because it made me remember that life is much easier now. As such, I encourage mothers who are still deep in the throes of learning motherhood that it does get better. And if you follow the book’s ideas about taking time for yourself and accepting help from others, it will be a much easier transition for you.

The chapters that spoke most to me were “Letting Go of Guilt, Worry and Anxiety” and “Beyond Opting Out and The Mommy Wars.” Both had lots of things that I needed to read right now. Such as, it’s not a crime to take time for myself right now. And realizing the the Mommy Wars are stupid. We all have challenges, home or not home or working at home or any variation thereof. It’s hard, mothering. And we need time for ourselves.

The really great thing about this book were the Mojo Activities at the end of each chapter. Journaling them, considering them and talking about them helped me put some things in perspective. (Like the fact that I’m somewhat overscheduled myself with things that aren’t absolutely necessary, meaningful or fun. Since then, I’ve quit one thing and turned down a few other offers. And I’ve made more time for my husband and my friends.) I encourage all who read this book to actively journal the questions at the end or discuss them with your friends or partner. Reading is one thing. Discussing helps bring it home.

If you’re a mom, brand spankin’ new or with several years under your belt, you can benefit from this book. Be sure to pick it up.

[Thanks to Mother Talk for including me in this book tour.]

Parenting books. What can I say? I’ve read a bunch. In fact, I’m now at that point where I am wondering if I have read too many. The good news is that I continue to learn something from each one I read. Out of the Mouths of Babes: Parenting from a Child’s Perspective by Dyan Eybergen, RN is no different.

Like most parenting books, there are some things that I took away from this book that I not only agree with but hope to employ in our family. Thankfully the chapter on sleep issues is not (currently nor hopefully ever again) applicable to our family. We are having a minor sleep interruption at night due solely to LittleBrother’s molars but we are hoping to return to normal sleep patterns in the next week and a half as the last has officially broken through the skin. All the same, I found that chapter to be truly beneficial to those reading because it taught readers to think outside of the box. Or, rather, that it was okay to think outside of the box and that one sleep “treatment” won’t work for each (very) individual child. I think that’s the key to remember as you continue reading through the book.

One chapter that stuck out at me due to recent conversations and age-appropriate issues for my children was the chapter on eating. While we have some special issues not discussed in the book (BigBrother has texture issues that cause gagging when a new food is introduced), my “inner ear” perked up when the discussion of throwing sippy cups came up. The way in which the author reacted and, as such, told her readers to react is exactly what we do with LittleBrother right now. We pick them up, we remind him not to do it and, if necessary, we remove everything from his tray. Eventually the throwing for that meal stops. And, to be honest, it’s far less than it was when he initially learned about the coolness of gravity. This discussion in the book really stuck out to me as just last week a mother in an online baby age-range group told us that she smacks her son’s leg if he throws his sippy cup down too many times. I will tell you that spanking is not endorsed by this book (or this family). Anyway, I also took away some good ideas to help keep our own mealtimes a bit calmer even while dealing with BigBrother’s texture issues. The point she made that when children are forced to eat something that they genuinely don’t like (not just that they haven’t tried before), they learn to ignore their body’s own signals. That struck home and I dont’ think I’ll be putting strawberries on BigBrother’s plate any time soon.

Like any parenting book, there were other things that didn’t sit particularly right. Her total dismissal of “reward charts” for things like potty training kind of rubbed me the wrong way. Then again, ours wasn’t a full reward chart. It was just a piece of paper that he placed a sticker on for months and months, even after he was fully trained, each time he went to the bathroom. (As he also has texture issues with touch, we were just excited he’d touch stickers.) That piece of paper was the last little nudge he needed to finish his potty learning experience. Will it work for LittleBrother? I don’t know. Do I know other children for whom a true reward chart worked? Yes. I think the strict “this is bad” way that the idea was discussed brought me back to the beginning of the book in which the author reminded us all that every child is unique and will deal with and learn things in different ways. Perhaps her background in child psychiatry gives her an edge but to say that reward charts don’t work simply doesn’t work for me. I simply disagree.

Her chapter on discipline was one chapter that I half-liked and half-questioned. Again my issue was with the inability to consider that different things work differently for different children. I do agree, however, that many parents are improperly employing the use of time outs. However, I believe that some children will better respond to a set amount of minutes while other children will better respond to the idea that they should stay for however long it takes them to self-soothe. Furthermore, I also believe that children can evolve or switch from one to the other and that it might vary from issue to issue. But, the thing I took away from this chapter that I give a hearty thumbs up to is consistency. I am working on that one myself. This chapter really encouraged me to keep working on it!

All in all, I did like this book. Yes, I disagreed with some things. But I haven’t yet read a parenting book of any type in which I finished reading it and thought, “Wow! I agreed with everything in this book!” Furthermore, the snip-its of conversation from the children and various parents added a little something to the book that you don’t always get in other variations. I really enjoyed each of those and found myself chuckling at a few, thinking that I had heard something of that sort in our own home. In the end, it was a quick read (121 pages of information) that was broken up into sections that can be easily revisited when and if an issue arrives. Despite the few things that I disagreed with, I’ll be keeping it on my (ever-growing) parenting book shelf for easy reference. You should pick it up yourself. It is currently listed at $10.17 on Amazon!

[Thanks to Mother Talk for including me in this book tour. I'm always happy to learn a few new things!]